Forever Family

I am so glad that I was able to attend my grandma's funeral. When I first found out that she had passed away we had only just been to Yakima the week before and a new semester had just started for Thomas. We are a one car family so there didn't seem any way I could go back again. My parents offered to pay for me to fly to Portland where my other sisters were flying in too and then we drove together to Yakima. I was shocked at how emotional I was. We arrived the night before the funeral along with a bunch of other relatives. It was nice being able to be around a lot of family and meeting again since I was a little girl a lot of relatives. I was so impressed that most of my grandma's nieces and nephews came from Arizona, Utah, and California to attend the funeral. I mentioned to my grandpa that it is speaks very well of my grandma and shows what a great impact she had on her neices and nephews that they would make the effort to come and his response was "I'm really proud of Vona." I want to live in a way that I can make my husband proud like that. So sweet. I must say I have some really nice family members. I didn't think that I would go into the room where they were having the viewing. I didn't think I wanted my last memory of my grandma to be of her dead. But as we arrived at the church and I sat looking at some of my grandma's scrapbooks that were laid out I started to feel like I should or else I would regret it. My sister Erin and I decided to go in together and if we didn't feel comfortable we would just walk out. When I saw my grandpa sitting there in the front row next to my grandma's open casket with my dad and mom by his side I lost it. I felt probably just a miniscule amount of his grief at losing the love of his life after 66 years of marriage and it was the saddest feeling I've ever felt in my life. I held on to my mom and cried and then held on to my grandpa and cried and cried. I can't even put into words how it felt to see him by himself, just the saddest thing ever. For about 30 minutes before the funeral services started I sat and cried hard and loud and ugly. I'd get it under control for a minute and then it would start again. I can't imagine the immensity of grief if I didn't know that my grandpa (and all of us) will be reunited with my grandma again. I know he will see her again but it still hurts that he has to be without her for awhile. I realized that 99% of the time that I'm sad or cry is because I hurt or I feel sorry for myself. But at my grandma's funeral I cried for my grandpa and his hurt. Every day that first thing I ask for in my prayers is that he will feel the comfort that comes from our Savior Jesus Christ and that there will be people who will visit him and help bear his burdens. I wanted to bear his burden so bad and all I could do was sit next to him and hold his hand during the services. At the graveside service it was so cold and he was just wearing a suit coat (which by the way he looked so handsome) so I scooted my chair next to him and entwined my arm with his to keep him warm. My grandpa is such an amazing man. He was so patient and loving with my grandma. He always helped with dishes and cleaning the house and was so handy around the house. In the limo ride back to the church after the graveside service my dad asked my grandpa what he is going to get replaced next (we had been talking about his brain surgery from earlier this year) and my grandpa's reply was "Nothing I'm ready to go meet Vona again." It wasn't said in a depressing way but just a matter of fact kind of way that was so sweet. I was really proud of how my dad stood by my grandpa all day. When they asked if anybody would like to say their last goodbye's before they closed the casket my dad went up and stood with my grandpa. My mom and dad have been going over every day with the great grandkids too and I know that makes my grandpa happy. While I was there I went over every day and would look at my grandma's scrapbooks. AMAZING she has documented every since my dad was born and up until the present. I'm really impressed with the pictures and the captions (many of which my grandpa would type). There are so many neat stories to be found in those scrapbooks. After the funeral and lunch we all met at my parents house for the night. Again it was the most comforting thing to be around all the family. The night before the funeral my grandpa was really quite and I probably only heard him say a couple sentences the whole night but the night of I think was healing for him too. There was tons of chatting and food and even laughter. I learned how maybe even if you don't think you need to be at a funeral for yourself that it's important to be there for the support of your family (and really it does help you too). I know that families can be together forever.