The Nanny Diary

This past week and a half was possibly the worst week of my life.  I learned some hard lessons that I could have avoided but that I want to write down now so that I don't repeat the same mistakes.
While on vacation in Colorado I got a phone call about a possible nanny job.  The weekend we got home I went and interviewed and was offered the job.
I had a nagging feeling the whole time that this wasn't a good choice but I blew it off because I thought it made logical sense since it was the highest paying job I had found and was a job I could go to and enjoy and then leave work at work. One kind of warning sign too was in the interview when she asked me when we were planning on having kids.  I just kind of laughed and said I didn't know and she said "Well hopefully not in the next two years." First of all potential employers aren't supposed to ask that kind of question, and second I don't want to be told when I can and can't have kids.  I later called her and let her know that it could be a possiblity that I could get pregnant in the next two years but I would want to continue working.  I was actually kind of hoping that she would just say "Okay well that's not going to work for us." But she was fine with it so I continued on against my better judgement.
The first couple days before the kids went to school were great.  I took them swimming at the country club, we played outside, played games, and did crafts.  Once school started for the kids I realized I was SO wrong. 
I would arrive at 7am and get the kids ready for school and then take them to school.  Seems easy enough right? Well apparently not when you have a five year old who throws raging tantrums.  And I mean INSANE tantrums.  I've worked in a special ed pre-school classroom and seen some pretty crazy tantrums but they don't even compare to these tantrums.
The first one was when 5 year old didn't want his sunscreen put on so he ran all over the house to get away from me.  I used love and logic techniques and gave him choices "you can either walk outside yourself to put your sunscreen on or I can help you outside."  He chose to continue running around screaming.  So I picked him up and took him outside while he kicked and screamed and tried to get away.  After a few minutes of this I just gave up and went inside.  I asked the mom "Is this normal? Does he act like this for other babysitters?".  I totally didn't mean this in a rude way I was just curious to know what gave.  But later I found out this really upset her.  She told me no he had never acted that way before (I would later see that was a bunch of B.S.). So after that whole fiasco we took the kids to school and I was just kind of quiet, digesting what had just happened.  The mom would later tell me "I was at Babies R' Us for so long because I was talking to my girlfriends about you and telling them you were kind of moody and pouty."  Anyways, on the car ride back from taking the kids to school she told me that she liked how I talked to 5 year old and gave him choices but he responds better to just being told what to do and raising your voice and making it firm. 
So that night when it was bathtime and he didn't want to get in the bath I just got my strict teacher voice on and said "You need to get in the bath now and for every minute you waste getting in is a minute that will be taken from your bath time and given to your sisters." And it actually worked but his mom would later tell me she thought I was being too mean.
Basically the mom has no discipline and lets the kid scream and cry and she'll say stuff like "okay you just lost your webkins" and so the kid will scream and cry more and so she'll give webkins back.
The eight year old daughter suffered the consequences mostly of the 5 year old tantrums as he would rage out against her and hit and scratch.  Or in the case of my last day she gets things taken away just to get her brother to shut up.  For example, she had been up sick all night and so that morning her mom put her in her bed and put the t.v. on.  When the five year old saw this he started screaming "I WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE!!!" over and over and over.  And rather than just tell him that his sister was sick that's why she got to watch a movie, the sisters movies was turned off and she got to listen to him continue to scream for literally a half hour til finally his dad grabbed him and took him to his room.  And yes, I would be there while both parents were there. 
I just had to kind of smile to myself while I watched this all unfold.  There were three adults in that house and this five year old was controlling everyone by his misbehavior. And I laughed to myself that his mom said he "never acted that way" when I had seen it every single day and many times when I had nothing to do with the situation.  Big time parent in denial right there.
So besides the horrible behavior of this five year old, the main problem I had with the job was that I really wasn't working with kids at all.  I was a full time housekeeper.  I would have a typed out page with a full list of things to do each day such as: scrubbing kids flip flops with a dish brush to clean them, wiping down with a wet cloth all of the stuffed animals (I don't know how that helps clean them. I would just put them in the dryer on high heat), wiping down pillows with a wet towel, and other seemingly pointless household tasks.  I consider myself a perfectionist but this woman took things to the next level. I think it probably took more time for her to come up with a list of things for me to do than for her to just do it herself. 
Every night I went home with a headache, couldn't sleep because I was so miserable, and proceeded to get a mouth full of canker sores from the stress. After many a counseling session via telephone call with my mom and discussions with Thomas I realized I couldn't do this for two years (which is how long they wanted me to commit to).
On Thursday after putting the kids down for bed I asked to chat with her.  I told her that I should have asked before starting more about what the responsibilites would be.  I told her I am passionate about working with kids and didn't realize how little time I would be working with kids and how much housekeeping I would be doing and that I dind't want to do that for the next two years.  I was really nervous leading up to the chat.  It totally felt like a break up.  I practiced multiple times what I would say with my mom and Thomas.  I let boss lady know that it just wasn't a good fit and that I would be happy to continue working the next two weeks until she found a replacement and I expressed how sorry I was for the inconvenience.  She let me know how she talked to her girlfriends about me and how I was "pouty and moody" and that she was thinking it wasn't working out either.  I did defend myself and let her know that in no way was I trying to be pouty and moody but I do know that when I get in stressful situations I tend to shut down and just not talk as much as I normally do (all my family and closest friends I think know this about me).  But hey, that was her perception, and I of course apologized.  She did say though that she felt that I probably just wasn't happy with the job (which was true) and she could see that I would be a good teacher.  She also said that she could probably get by with just having me come in the mornings for the next two weeks.  So I was really relieved that it ended well.
Except.... the next morning I show up and she let me know she didn't want the kids to know I was leaving so I agreed to not say anything (not like I would have anyways).  Well later that morning the eight year old asked me if I was coming back that afternoon.  I was kind of shocked that she even asked because I always came in the morning and afternoons so why would she question that? I was caught off guard and just said "I don't know." and then asked boss lady "Am I coming back this afternoon? I wasn't planning on it, but I can if you need me to." Well boss lady had me take something out into the garage and then just laid into me. "How could you do that in front of my daughter!? I thought I told you not to say anything? I think you have a character flaw that you can't fulfill your commitments to people! You agreed to finish the whole two weeks." I was totally taken off guard and started shaking.  I hate it when people yell at me, it scares me. I told her that I just thought we had discussed me just coming in the mornings but apparently I misunderstood.
So then we go back into the house and act like everything is normal.  I leave when I am supposed to and call Thomas crying.  I had no idea how I would be able to go back to her house and work for her. But then I got a text from her (real professional right?) saying "I think we should just cut our relationship now.  I will send you a check in the mail.  Good luck in the pursuit of a teaching career."
Halle-freaking-lujah!!!!
The whole thing was just a mess.  I felt like I was dealing with a Real Housewife of Boise.
I am happy about the way I dealt with the whole thing.  It felt like breaking up with someone and I felt like I did so respectfully.  The biggest lesson I learned was to listen to promptings that I get and to pray about major life decisions!! I'm glad that I have learned that lesson now and will hopefully not make the same mistake when it comes to even bigger life decisions that might be harder to resolve. 
So I will now be substitute teaching and could not be more thrilled!